The one black male friend that stopped by our home to say hello to me started the biggest fight I’d ever had with my mother. If my parents exploded because my platonic friendship with a black guy, I was scared to imagine their reaction if I actually dated one.
When my husband first wooed me my freshman year in college, I threw away his phone number.
But it’s entirely different when, for some reason, you discover When you discover your parents strongly disapprove of your bf/gf, your first inclination will be to pull away from them and continue your dating relationship behind their back. Never secretly date someone your parents don’t want you to date.
Having secrets and lies between you and your parents ruins trust and causes needless stress and drama which will affect your self-esteem, grades, and even your other friends.
IMG_1896 via photopin (license)" height="213" src="https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-inline-half/public/field_blog_entry_images/8609834555_774078a007.jpg? itok=ADx I7F4B" title="// Dating is hard enough as it is but dating in an Asian-American context is made even more difficult because of potential cultural differences.
Traditional Asians pride themselves on their marriages, families, children, and continuation of the family lineage so when their sons/daughters begin dating someone they don't approve of, it's going to a difficult process.
They didn’t hate him because they found out we’d been dating for three years when they met him.
My parents hated my future husband because his skin was too dark.
Carolyn commented she first had to try and figure out why her parents didn’t like her boyfriend.
Regardless of the differences, if the couple truly desires to stay together and are committed to the relationship then my recommendation in therapy is for them to stay the course.
But I also know from many different couples that this can mean facing possible ostracism from family members.
Other times it's because they're of a different Asian ethnicity.
There are also instances when it's not relegated to ethnicity or culture but due to socioeconomic status and/or educational attainment.